I've been looking for a woman with the same mad devotion to old things that don't work very well, but thus far haven't found more than one deserving of (or accepting of) my passionate responses to that devotion.
Re the question of "how do I - without a mouse?," in principle it's not necessary to have a mouse as there are keyboard-only ways of navigating - they say everywhere - in Windows.
KB 301583: List of the keyboard shortcuts that are available in Windows XP is a current guide for WinXP. I don't know if there are still similar ones for older versions of Windows, but most of them haven't changed much since Win3.11WG days. The default shortcuts should be in Help files for your version, but they can be "evasive" when you're looking for them. My recollection is that "keyboard" is a good search term in Help in most versions.
By way of sympathizing, I recently (yesterday) discovered that a bunch of minor setup changes had resulted in a couple of "extraneous" USB hubs in Device Manager, so I proceeded according to my own advice to just uninstall all of them. The last uninstall reminded me that "OH SHIT - I'm using a USB mouse!." Fortunately at that point all I needed to do was reboot, and I don't recall exactly how I did it as there was a lot of muttering and #$@$@%@!# (cursing) going on that was not conducive to clear thinking.