The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #99732   Message #1993032
Posted By: Susanne (skw)
10-Mar-07 - 07:38 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Travelling Salesman songs - any more?
Subject: Lyr Add: WE SELL EVERYTHING (Leon Rosselson)
WE SELL EVERYTHING
(Leon Rosselson)

I woke up this morning when a ring at the bell
Split my dreams
The man at the door wore a smile so wide
I thought his face would fall apart at the seams
He jigged, Good morning, it's your lucky day
Yes, I've come to help you make the grade
I'm your friend, I'm your neighbour, I'm your good companion
I'm the leader of a wig crusade

I've got straight wigs, curly wigs, gay wigs and girlie wigs
Live a little, buy a devil-daring one
Blue wigs, red wigs, very good in bed wigs
Everyone who's anyone is wearing one
I said, No thank you, I've nowhere to put it
And I've got all the hair that I need
He said, Don't worry, son, we've got a product on the market
That will make your hair fall out guaranteed

We've got cough drops, cricket bats, iron lungs, knick-knacks
Wooden legs, wedding rings, we sell everything
Slug killers, killer slugs, road drills, ear plugs
Time-bombs, tombstones, merchant banks and garden gnomes
Tooth-paste, defoliants, genital deodorants
Strychnine, gasoline, benzine, polythene

He said, The products we are marketing will transform you
Into somebody of quality and style
You'll be the number one attraction, and everyone will envy
Your mysterious, superior smile
'Cause we're making you a very special offer of tomorrow
In delicate pastel shades
Have a jar of instant happiness, a pocketful of glamour
An amazing-value dream that never fades
We've got cheap tranquillity, boxes of virility
Packets of the simple life that used to be
Eternal youth at bargain price, a one-way trip to Paradise
Why not buy a giant pack of purity
Or a free gift sample of the art of gracious living
There's nothing that we can't provide
And what it all adds up to is super satisfaction
Though we hope you won't be satisfied - cause we've got

Fruit machines, magazines, baked beans, submarines
Handcuffs, face creams, pep pills and private dreams
Synthetic fibres, tranquilisers, inorganic fertilisers
Canned beer, barbed wire, dividends are five points higher
Mars Bars, fast cars, Jesus Christ Superstars
Life insurance, cigarettes, package deals and Sabre jets

I said I really didn't think I had the urge to purchase
And in any case my cash was getting low
His eyes beamed out a warning and his smile got kind of stormy
And he said, There's just one thing you ought to know
It's people like you that are letting down the country
When our democratic freedoms are at stake
'Cause if you don't buy the wheels will start to falter
And after that it's on with the brake
Then confidence will be destroyed and millions will be unemployed
And anarchy will grow from our disharmony
So tell me sir, do you prefer to be a lousy saboteur
Or help to boost the national economy
'Cause production only rises and investments only move
When the demand stimulates the supply
Then everyone will prosper, so I hope it's very plain
It's your patriotic duty to buy my

We've got cough drops, cricket bats, iron lungs, knick-knacks
Wooden legs, wedding rings, we sell everything
Slug killers, killer slugs, road drills, ear plugs
Time-bombs, tombstones, merchant banks and garden gnomes
Tooth-paste, defoliants, genital deodorants
Strychnine, gasoline, benzine, polythene

Fruit machines, magazines, baked beans, submarines
Handcuffs, face creams, pep pills and private dreams
Synthetic fibres, tranquilisers, inorganic fertilisers
Canned beer, barbed wire, dividends are five points higher
Mars Bars, fast cars, Jesus Christ Superstars
Life insurance, cigarettes, package deals and Sabre jets

And the new super-sonic fractional orbital bombardment system
That annihilates everything that moves
Within the range of 2.578 million light years