That's ME, you flippin' bolthole! And I'm flippin' stuck in flippin' Amsterflippindam and some guy is pretending to be me so he can, you know, sponge off my brother Don and drink my beer. I gotta get back to Ontario! This place is starting to suck, especially since I don't have any flippin' money! I went to the Canadian Consulate and you know what they said? They said that their flippin' records showed I was a Trappist monk! I told them I wasn't doing that anymore and they asked for my passport! I told them that the Trappists still had it and they said that meant I was still a flippin' monk!

When I get back somebody's going to flippin' PAY!