I have only written two songs in my life. One was terrible ... and the other was worse! In getting ready for an upcoming concert, I attempted a third song.

My purpose was twofold: To get my two granddaughters up on stage to sing this with me, and to GROSS out as many people as possible!

Sing this at your own peril:

THE CHICKEN SONG

One day a chicken came into our yard.
She walked right in, caught us off guard.
We made her welcome, bought her some food,
She tasted it, declared it good.

CHORUS: One egg a day, one egg a day,
One egg a day, that's what she'd lay.

We named her Freea just because
That's what she is, and that's what she was.
She's a free-range chicken that likes to roam,
And for a while she called us home.

Her eggs were brown, but one was green,
Prettiest eggs I'd ever seen.
She was mighty proud of the gifts she gave.
She's a free-range chicken, and mighty brave.

Our Freea's gone now, but she tasted good.
She tasted good, like a chicken should.
I watch the streets now, to see what's next,
For best of all, I like turkey best!

This tender little ballad was based on an actual event that happened to us in December. The girls helped me write it, but as any of you who know me might suspect ... the last verse is MINE! (I will consider myself a success if I'm ever invited to sing this at an animal welfare convention)! (Bad, bad Bob)