look do you want to see a load of drug fuelled characters running and jumping about, or not.....?

if you phone up Paris now, they may still take it off our hands - but they will probably want the common market (that means us) to pay for it.

so I reckon as you were probably going to pay for it - you might as well have it.

It confers great honour on the country that gets to superintend, who can take the most drugs without being nicked - so be proud to be English (a mug) once again.

How come they never had a who can wee furthest up the wall event? Who can fart the loudest? Who can do the biggest crap? I believe there is room for innovation in this tired celebration. Who can bore the arse off most people with an ancient ballad? (sorry they already tried that....)


I couldn't give a stuff who can take a micro second off the 110 metres run.