"At my age I should be beyond this sort of introspection and navel-gazing."

Rubbish - the older you get, the more of this you are capable of, and the better you get at it.

This is why evolution has allowed the older ones past immediate childbearing age to survive - it is useful - they can mind the young kids while the parents bring in the food, and they have time to cogitate and produce lazier and less personally dangerous ways to find food, and drive away predators/enemies.