You're right - it went wrong a long time ago. In the land time forgot. When I was in my primary school, I saw Billy Wrights Wolves get thrashed by Barcelona, who were reckoned to be not quite as good as Real Madrid.

They were just qualitatively different.

The general consensus was that our blokes were jumping round in hobnail boots, like you bought off the market - whilst they had the sexy new 'continental' football boots.

'Continental style football boots' - I think you can still get them from the Anne Summers catalogue.