Hi guitar, these lyrics are transcribed, as best I can, from a recording of a live performance.

BAPS & PASTE
Chorus.
Baps and paste and corndog....(bread rolls and corned beef)
Peace on earth and earth on piece...(piece = sandwich)
Butcher's hough and tinkie's gauchles...(gelatinous mixture of cow product, Tinsmith's phlegm)
Wha can tell the difference?

Oh wha could bear to bide in Beechwood?...(housing scheme)
Fowk keep donkeys in the bath!
Eh hae better things tae dae
Than hosin' doon a donkey's arse.
Whaur on earth wid ye keep the coal
If the creature occupied the bath?

Ch.

Eh dream aboot a hoose in Fintry...(housing scheme)
Up tae my ears in junkies pish
Corrugated iron curtains
Sittin' in the loaby guddlin' fish
But it seems, like a dream
up to ma knees in a submarine

Ch.

In Mid eh saw a big Alsatian...(Mid Craigie,another housing scheme)
Fag in it's mooth and a few tattoos
Barkin' at the Launderette
On it's feet were pointed shoes.
Pointed shoes on a big Alsatian?
Eh, and it hid Brylcreem on it's ears!
Eh thocht that wis the speech therapist
Preaching (?) tae the faithfull
Ch.