There once was a farmer raised no little pigs,
No little piggies had he,
He couldn't afford the price of feed,
So he kept his pens empty , you see.

Well one day a fellow from DEFRA came,
And unto the farmer said he,
We'll pay you good money for raising no pigs,
If you keep your pens empty, you see!

Well now, said the farmer, just how can that be?
It seems a bit crazy to me,
I couldn't make money from raising my pigs,
But you'll pay me to keep the land free.

Yes, said the official, that's really the case,
'Cos we're in the EU, you see,
We buy all our pork from the continent,
So keep your pens empty and free

Now here is a cheque for a thousand or two,
Or maybe a thousand or three,
But don't you go buying any pigs with it,
We can't risk Swine fever you see.

Brian Q
Roughly fits to a song I heard Guy Carawan sing years ago called 'The three Little Pigs'