Now, if'n ma man has one o'them thar beards wot iz long, I means really long, wood dis werk like a rayzor strop, I mean cud I holt his beard out tight and run one of them doodads along his hayre to comb the critters out an mayk muzeek, too?!! 'Cause if'n eye kin do thet, I am gonna come rite ovah theyah and git me one o'them, 'cause I don' trust none o'them deeliverree boyz and we don' wan no moh o'them flize up heyah neether, ya heayah?

So's meester Spaw, yew'uns let me no, ok?

Miz LooLoo