I must intercede; it is not to be borne that so bold and bright a voice as our own Senior Librarian Rapaire should not have his Epic Worke included in this humble anthology. Therefore at uncountable risk, I offer it below for those who do not venture into MOAB Landia:

The Absolutely Fantastic Adventure of Brave Sir Amos, Knight of the Table Round and Sans Pur et Sans Reproache

Amidst the angst of battle sound
Brave Sir Amos would be found,
Round him bodies steeped in gore
Men who'd never breath no more.
Cloven skulls and pierced hearts
Guts outside their inside parts
Legs and arms all scattered 'round
Scarlet plumes and trousers browned
Gouts of blood and bits of brains
Brave Sir Amos faced the trains
Of Celt and Pict and Saxon foe
Free to trade them blow for blow
Iberian, Banjoist and Basque
But fell Sir Amos to his task!
Slaughtered he the serried rank
And armed file. Until a tank
Lumbered fast into his sight
He quaked, but did not take his flight
For overhead, above the foe
An A-10 Warthog struck a blow
All liveried in puce and orange

The dragon did its mouth agape
The brave Sir Amos to entape
With its tongue, all slimy spit
Envenomed like the Devil's pit!
But brave Sir Amos stood his ground
Amidst the flames that danced around
His armor pure, but slightly scorched
By dragon's breath and forward marched
E'en unto the dragons head
And hacked it off and then he said
"Fair maiden I you this present
As token of my pure intent."
She cried, she shrieked, away did faint,
Her visage fair did look like paint
Of palest hue or whitewash pure
But her lips of crimson quite a lure
And brave Sir Amos kissed these
Again and again, like tasting cheese,
He could could nay stop, he could nay quit,
'Til damsel woke and took a fit
"Oh evil one, who my virtue took,
Now do the Right Thing, by The Book!
Now marry me within the month,
Or Daddy's gonna

Headstood he in blasted wood
Knowing that he did no good
To his insides or to his head
So got he to his feet instead
And like the good and parfait knight
He was he thought his hair a fright
So sprang he to his noble steed
Knowing that a comb he'd need
Ere he could to table come
And drink and eat and pound the drum-
Like table with the other knights
And drink, carouse, and get in fights
Until the rosy daybreak came
Bringing o'erindulgence's bane
Calling like the other louts
For aspirin, silence, patience, clouts
For those so much dropped a pin
And death to those who did more sin!
Searched for a comb he high and low
Here and there, above, below,
In and out, around and through,
On stormy sea, in morning dew,
On mountain high, in valley low,
In castle, keep, and bungalow!
And then one day he did espy
A comb that really caught his eye!
Bejeweled it was, in platinum set
Its very teeth as black as jet!
Its rattail of Einsteinium

Cried he, "Villein! Hold thy pen!
Don't write no more such stuff again!
Else I will have to take thy head,
Arms and legs, table and bed,
I'll break thy lance, I'll break thy sword,
I'll take thy dictionary, every word!
For I do not fear the wrath of men
Especially those who wield the pen!"
So drew he Fishmash, his noble blade,
And chased the poet 'round the glade,
'Til finally the poet slipped on the dew
And Sir Amos clove him quite in two!
"Egad!" quoth he. "What have I done?"
Now poets two instead of one
Shall loudly my details proclaim!"
And so he hacked the chap again
Until the poet mincemeat was
And with sound of flies the glade did buzz.
Then Sir Amos wiped from his blade the gore
Of the poet who would nevermore
Write of his deeds, both bad and good
Within the overarching wood
Of trees and shrubs and birds and deer,
Giants, orcs, and old King Lear,
Glaciers, palms, and pilgrims lost,
And danger to the permafrost.
Fair maidens everywhere did weep
And publicans did half their keep
Of nut-brown ale and whisky strong
And with flooding tears did the sums erase
That the poet owed, for now decease
He ne'er more could even up the score
Five pubs went broke and even more
Did ban Sir Amos for this deed
And the publicans spent their lives in need.
In rags their children went to school
In summer's heat and winter's cool
And in future times whenever they
Spoke to grandchild, fair or fey,
Of their youth, how in school they stay
(Tho' they walked uphill both the way
Through snow and ice up to their chest
Their education was the best)
They told of how Sir Amos, brave,
Did them to poverty enslave
By mincing the poet, head and knee,
Who was yclepted "Rapaire."

Exeunt Omnes

Here endeth The Absolutely Fantastic Adventure of Brave Sir Amos, Knight of the Table Round and Sans Pur et Sans Reproache.

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Ya gotta give the dude credit for perseverance.

A