"Shane," I think Don owns the house. He can toss you out to live with the sheep and goats. But at least you'd be warm, all huddled in there with the sheep and goats. And if you could find a mare (that's a girl horse) who had milk you could make kvass, which is fermented mare's milk and drink that instead of beer. Even better, you could learn to bust mutton (which isn't like, you know what) and eventually you could ride all the way out here to Idaho and meet me. I'd buy you a beer, but you wouldn't want it since all you'd be drinking by then would be kvass and I offer you some smoke but you'd only want to breathe the pure, clear air of the Rockies. And next Spring I'd enter you in the mutton bustin' competition of the DNCFR. You could end up World's Champion Mutton Buster, with a big ol' gold buckle and everything.

Then you go back to Blind River and go find Don and just snap your finger in his face and by then Officer Dana will be back and fall into your arms because YOU are the World's Champion Mutton Buster, with a gold belt buckle the size of a hubcap and everything. And when you walk down the street everyone will point at you and whisper that you're the World's Champion Mutteon Buster. You'll be famous!!