The plot thickens. There are dead bodies everywhere. As it turns out, mine is not one of them - yet. And I am jumping ship just as soon as I see a rowboat with an empty seat.


As you read, keep in mind that this is a 'not-for-profit' corporation whose business is providing human services, in this instance, mental health services.   It is not unreasonable to expect that such a company would be more inclined to follow ethical practices in its dealings with its employees. Not.

Chapter 2.

If I had posted an hour earlier, I would have told you that my own boss jumped in front of the bullet intended for me. She awoke at 3:00am this morning, so disturbed by the way the company was planning on dealing with me that she arose from her bed and sent an e-mail to all clinic directors and the Division managers. The title was "Where is the Integrity?" She also had written a resignation letter, though she was not sure she was going to hand it in.

She arrived at work a little after I did. I went to her office and we sat together, awaiting the executioner. She looked awful and was mildly doped up from the pain meds. Remember, she had surgery on Friday. I had told her it was not necessary for her to come in, but she felt very strongly that her place was to be beside me. We tried to prepare outselves for what was to come, making an agreement that neither one of us would cry in front of the axeman, both of us knowing we were lying to ourselves and each other. She talked more about her conversation with the axe man last night. I asked her if she was sure her head was not also going to roll. she said, "I don't know. I'm prepared for anything. Then she showed me the e-mail she had sent. I won't say it was an elegantly written protest, but she got her point across. I was pretty sure she was going down with me. Axe man still had not come, so I told her I was going outside to smoke a cigarette. We figured he could wait five minutes to can me if he showed in the interim. As I walked out of the lobby, I saw this guy in a white suit, and speculated it was the Axe Man. He could wait. I kept on going. After putting another bullet in my lungs, I went to the ladies room and then headed back to the clinic. I wasn't gone more than 7 minutes. Outside the door I stopped for a minute to make sure I was as centered as I could be under the circumstances. I wanted to handle myself with dignity. I opened the door into the clinic, and there she was, going around hugging people and telling them good bye. I was confused. I figured if we were both going, he would tell us both together. Axe Man was standing over to one side. My boss was in the Med. Records room, surrounded by others. I figured we'd have time to talk as we walked out the door together. Being a brave, good girl, intent on preserving my own dignity, I walked up to Axe Man, held out my hand and introduced myself.
"I expect you want to talk to me," I said.
"I'd like to meet with you, the office manager and the CSS manager if I may. (Oh jeez, we are all going to get it.)
"Sure. Let me find CSS Manager."

I walked into the office manager's office to see if she knew where the CSSM was. I had given her a heads up earlier that I was to be canned. My boss came in very briefly, gave me a hug, said to hang in there, take care of my son. I told her I would be in as soon as we were done with AXE Man, too niave to realize that she would be booted out the door long before that. Internally shaking in our collective boots, we compliantly follwed him back to my office, and settled in to hear we, too, were fired. Instead, he smoothly 'explained' the company wide situation, told us there were people being let go at all 11 clinics and the Division, and then addressed cuts in services to the inidigent, etc. To me he said I was retained instead of my boss because my firing would cause a much bigger uproar among staff, given my long relationships with them, strongly implying that it was a political decision and had nothing to do with any regard for my work performance. At some point he made an off-hand remark about the experience of going arouond firing people (he was headed for another clinic when he left us.) What he said was this. "You just have to detach, and look at them as them as names on a piece of paper." That phrase is still echoing in my head.

He finally left, staff went about the business of serving clients as best they could, and when time permitted, huddled together, or came to my office to see if I had more information, or to seek reassurance that I was unable to give. I called a staff meeting at lunch, and told them what I knew. Individually, I went to each of the professional staff and told them that our boss had called me the night before, that I had been who was supposed to be fired. In those phone conversations with her, she had noted the difference in our circumstances. She needs to work, but her husband is employed and she has a private practice, not to mention a PhD. I, on the other hand am in the middle of a divorce after twenty years of marriage, Our assets are currently frozen pending proberty settlement, and I have always been the family breadwinner, my spouse being chronically under-self-employed.

In light of this, I interpreted her brave but very rash e-mail as intended to accomplish just what had been accomplished. She got canned instead of me.

to be continued next post.