The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #2022470
Posted By: Amos
11-Apr-07 - 03:13 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
In August of this year. The Hadron collider
will be switched on and power proton particle streams at such velocities that their mass will exceed that of a couple city buses and create a collision that may open new doors to an understanding of particle physics, dimensions, black holes, dark matter and the search for the elusive Higgs boson.

I've been aloft in gale and breeze,
All across the Southern Ocean,
But a defter dodger ne'er I seed
Than Higgs, the absent Bosun.
He'd sign the sheet, before we sailed,
And promise work a-plenty,
But searching for him down below,
The bosun's bunk was empty.
He warn't on deck, nor up aloft,
Nor in the locker round,
He wasn't curled up by the gun.
He was nowhere to be found!

One night off the Newfoundland shoals
All hands were called for watches,
The fog had grown as thick as mud
Which before had just been patches.
The chaplain was even sent aloft,
From the stabbd yard to dandle,
Thinking from there, he'd be more apt
Some miracle to handle.

But no-one took the topmast perch,
As we cruised the fog-blind ocean.
That weas the station, at such times,
Reserved for the old ship's bosun.
We mighta had a chance that night,
Through pea-soup fog a-gliding
But no-one saw the Hadron's lights
Before we were colliding.

Our ship was never built for such,
A trader, not a fighter,
And most of the hands went down with her,
That poor Hadron collider.
I lost a lot of friends of mine,
In the freezing, midnight ocean;
And I curse until the end of time,
"Goddamn that Higgs, the bosun!!"