Another, seldom discussed, danger of sex with guitars is what is crudely called "splinters." These can lead to other infections and even to gangrene and subsequent amputation.

Ask yourself, "She's beautiful, she's sexy, but is it worth it? To jeopardize my future for a momentary fling? To throw away my innocence on a few minutes of pleasure, risking everything I've ever hoped for? And how many others have there been, since I got her used?"

This message has been brought to you by the "Just Say No Way, Jose" Campaign To Enlighten The World's Youth About The Dangers Of Guitars.