C'mon DMcG don't be coy
what DOES 'Vivant omnes virgines/Faciles, formosae' translate as - my high school Latin deserted me Loooooooonnnng ago - got pretty much the same comment on my Latin marks at years' end as banjoman got for music.

The best I could come up with was - nope, forget it. Literal; translation makes NO bloody sense at ALL!!!

I was going to ask if DMcG went to the same school as me, but Liverpool is a fair way from Melbourne, Aust. Maybe it's just that Christian Brothers the world round are just sadistic, sarcastic bastards - maybe it's an entry requirement.

Here are a couple of other report-card gems I've heard - fortunately not applied to me:

This child would be out of her depth in a parking lot puddle

Your child has, academically speaking, hit rock bottom - and started digging.