The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418 Message #2031011
Posted By: Rapparee
20-Apr-07 - 09:27 AM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Horatio Nelson (known to Lady Hamilton as "Iddy Wicky Woogums") discovered VDL in 1473, claiming it "for England, the King, and my Bitsy-Witsy-Woo [i.e., Lady Hamilton]."
Because he never understood the difference between Magnetic and True North, had flunked astronomical navigation at Sandhurst (he answered the question "What is the name of that big light that comes out at night?" as "George III"), and used a sextant backwards, he would sometimes move not only around in Space but back and forth in Time. His crew, in documents still kept under wraps by the Official Secrets Act, wrote that they also sailed on the canals of Barsoom, saw flying things drop exploding eggs in the Sandwich Islands, were silent upon a peak in Darien, saw slimy things crawl with legs upon a slimy sea, and nearly sank in tumult in a lifeless ocean. They also "crossed the T" of the Flying Dutchman and saw three kids sailing around in a wooden shoe. (Though these documents are very, very secret, librarians know How To Find Things Out.)