A tramp (hobo) gate-crashes a big society party, looking for food. The hostess, a well-known socialite, catches him, and threatens to call the police.
  “Please, ma’am, I haven’t eaten for three days! I don’t want charity either. I can earn some food!” he says.
  “But what on earth could you do?” says she.
  “I could play the piano for you!” comes the reply.
  The hostess thinks for a moment, then decides that the guests might find this amusing, so she agrees. So the man is taken to the instrument, sits down, and starts to play. It soon becomes evident that he is a very accomplished musician, and his music brings forth both tears and cheers from the assembled throng. Amazed, the hostess insists that he will stay, as her guest, and sends for food and wine.
  “I consider myself to be quite knowledgeable about piano music, but I didn’t recognise that piece you played” she says.
  “No!” says the man. “I wrote that myself!”
  “Good heavens!” exclaims the woman. “Not only do you play beautifully, but you compose as well! You should be a rich man!”
  “Tell me about it!” says he. “I have tried to get my work published. I’ve been everywhere—Paris, Milan, Tokyo, New York, London—but no publisher will touch me!”
  “But that’s ridiculous!” cries the woman. “I mean, your music is SUPERB! What was that piece that you just played called?”
  “Well” says the man, “That particular piece is called ‘I Love You So Fucking Much I Can’t Shit’”!