Keep't Dark
Tune= The Parfict Cure

A.K.A.
The wife that knaws ivrything.
A contrast te the Chep that Knaws Nowt

AUD Mistress Clark wes fond'o clash,
She lik'd te hear her tung.
She said that tawkin eased the mind,
Wi' foaks byeth aud an' young;
The chap that knaws nowt's gud advice
Wes lost on Mistress Clark,--
But mind aw shuddint menshun this,
Aw hope ye'll a keep't dark!

Says Misteress Clark te siv'ral frinds
She had one day to tea,
Aw wnunder what myeks Geordy Hall
Se fond o' beer an' spres?
They say his wife can tyek her gill,
An' neether's fond o' wark,--
But mind aw shuddint menshun this,
Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

There's Mary Smith, upon the stairs,
A wild an' rakish lass,
Aw wunder where she gets her claes,
Aw's sure she hes ne brass,
They say she's thick wi' Draper Jim,--
He's not up te the mark,--
But mind aw shuddint menshun this,
Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

There's Bella Jones that leeves next door,
Got bessie Thompson's shawl,
An borrow'd Suzie Ratcliffe's goon,
Te gan te Hopper's ball,
But neether o' them's got them back,
Aw think'tis owt but a lark,--
Still mind aw shuddnt menshun this,
Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

There's Dolly Green that dorly slut
That leeves alang the yard
She flirts wi' ivry lad she meets,
She's worthy ne regard;
Last neet aw catch'd her on the stairs
Wi' Jack the Keyside Clerk;--
But mind aw shuddnt menshun this,
Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark

Thgere's Mistress Johnson pawns her claes,
As sure as Monday cums;
An' drunkin Mary locks the door,
Forfear she'll get the bums,
An' Mistress Black 'ill nivor wesh
Her man a shart for wark,
But mind aw shuddn't menshun this!
Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

Fat Mistress Jackson likes te clash
Lang Jinnie likes her ways,
An' Mary Riley starves her barins,
Te get sic dandy claes;
Young Peggie Robson's got her bed,
Throo sum seducin spark;--
But mind aw shuddn't menshun this,
Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

-Joe Wilson