"Shane," I think that deep down you are probably just a big old cuddly teddy bear. I think that you're just yearning for love and affection and if the right woman came along, why, you'd be wearing a business suit and a tie in no time at all. You'd probably even give up beer and smoke.

I can picture it: "Shane" out in the back yard, playing catch with his 2.4 children, his wife looking on as "Shane" also keeps one eye on the grill where the hamburgers are cooking. In the driveway is a beige minivan and a Honda Accord, neither of them new but not old, either -- just good, suburban vehicles for a good, suburban family.

In the morning "Shane" leaves for his job as an accoutant with an insurance company, listening to soft rock music from the '70s (perhaps "Muskrat Love") as he drives to the high-rise building in which his cubicle resides.

All because of the love of a good woman....