Okay. I have flippin' come to a life-changin' deesishun here. I am gonna leave the past behind. I am gonna change my flippin' disresponsbile ways and find a way to win the heart of, like, the woman of my dreams: Officer Dana.

I will leave tomorrow right after I put out the stuff that I ain't takin' which my friends can have. My stash of porno mags. My stash of bnongs, 'cept for the good one. My old boots and other stuff like that. My hockey stick. The bikes. The snowmobile that don't work. The articial set of bazongas that I have hangin' on the bedroom wall. My friends can have all that good stuff.

I will be on the road. I will not be able to tell youse much becoz I will be flippin' offline, eh? But I will try to chech in at a liberry on the way.

I here she is in Huntsville, so that is where I am goin'. I will find her and I will throe myself at her mercy. I am goin' for broke this time.

As fer the flipface up norht who thinks he is me...I don't care. Flippin' COME to Blind River, you bolthole, and tell yer story to Don, my big brother. See how far it gets ya! Don don't like boltholes that come arownd tellin' lies and pretendin' to be fambly. He will bust yer face.

Anyways, I don't care. Live or die, idiot-boy. I am off to the woman of my dreams and nothin' will stand in my way.

- Shane McBride