So, I should attempt to provoke other people into physically attacking me, Ron?

Hmmm. Sounds like a plan.    ;-)

Should be easy, LH. Seems like ya'v got a natural talent for it.

And maybe Chongo 'd be willing to help. He sometimes seems to not like you all that much, and probably could be hired to attack almost anyone.

Hiccups can have a number of causes, although only a couple are really common. For "technical" advice, the term "dyspnea" may be of use, although most articles deal with other kinds of symptoms so some additional selective searching may be needed.

A common cause in "drunk hiccups," for some, is "pocketed" accumulation of gas in the esophagus that affects breathing by causing pressure on the diaphragm, and some people might find adding some carbonation a.la. an "Alka-Seltzer" or other similar medicament may allow the gas pockets to coalesce so that a good burp stops the hiccup stimulus. (Most carbonated beverages don't provide sufficient CO₂ to be an effective treatment, although using soda or tonic water rather than taking it straight or with water alone may delay onset if one is susceptible.)

Hiccups can also be caused by localized irritation of the palate, throat, and upper esophagus or bronchial pathways, as might be caused by reflux of stomach acids, hence the many advices about drinking something or drinking in strange ways, which may "flush the area" a bit differently than normal. Since drinkng (alcoholic) dulls many reflexes, some unusual reflux may occur in people not otherwise familiar with the phenomenon. An unexpected "burp" can also sometimes produce an unusual reflux, even when you're not drunk.

(In my house, inhaling or otherwise ingesting a stray cat hair can be the suspected source of a local irritation.)

An unobtrusive technique that sometimes works is to inhale fairly deeply, clamp the throat to block exhaling, and "squeeze" as if exhaling to raise the internal pressure in the lungs a bit. (It's sort of like the well-known "g-clamp" used by pilots in high-g maneuvers to keep the blood from running out of the brain, except you clamp the other end and squeeze a bit differently.) This could, in principle, change the pCO₂/pO₂ levels in your blood, but it takes significant time for effective changes to be produced and distributed in your system, so it's likely more a matter of tricking your brain into thinking there's been a change. The minimal pressure rise that you generate may also inflate lung sacs to change the breathing stimuli the brain receives. At least if this doesn't work, nobody has noticed so you're free to try one of the more bizarre methods.

This last technique may also be helpful in other cases of dyspnea, i.e. where you feel like you're not getting enough air even when there's no apparent restriction; but the possibility of more serious causes for dyspnea of this kind should get you to professional examination to rule out apnea, asthma, and/or angina, among other possibilities.

John