From today's Washington Post...
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Dear Amy:

My 37-year-old stepson has moved in with his father and me.

His life as an up-and-coming rap star has not worked out, and he has no place left to go.

He has never worked a real job. He is heavily tattooed and pierced, and he weighs 350 pounds, so it's not as if he can work just anywhere.

His father and I are both working minimum-wage jobs and can't afford counseling or therapy for him. I would be depressed if I were him, but he seems perfectly happy to sleep until noon, eat and play video games all day. Any advice?


LK in Oregon




Your husband is the best (really the only) person to address this. He could have prevented this in the first place by insisting that his son find other housing. (It's much harder to get a carbuncle off the couch once he has established himself.) You could help by doing some research on job-training programs in your community. Your stepson should demonstrate the ability to get off the couch and attend meetings or classes so that he can develop some skills.

Your husband should make his expectations clear, and give his son a deadline to get it together and start contributing to the household -- or move on.

As a last resort, you could try "torture-by-soft-rock." Playing Captain and Tennille recordings at home might hasten his departure.