A series of good possibilities here. I'll be interested to see what everyone can make of them.

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1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he
lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance
package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten
tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing
beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give
yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank
accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he
tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three
hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked
each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money
or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and
her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first
child?" the doctor asked "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to
hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon King used a thumb
and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep
his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were
having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in
almost every maneuever, no matter how much power they applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a
nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what
was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in
perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went
up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

Dave Oesterreich