"The signpost with Ham Sandwich on it was stolen so many times that they never bothered replacing it!"

This is what we call 'direct action'.

But re: the sandwich incident - you can imagine the look on the desk-sergeant's face when one of these calls comes in. It might make a good Bob Newhart skit:

" ... yes, ma'am ... a sandwich, ma'am ... and it WAS in a baggy? Because that makes a difference ... oh, we DO take these things seriously, people have been KILLED by sandwiches ... "