Well I'm feeling broke,
An' it aint no joke,
So I think I'll go and rob a bank,
Can't afford a gun,
And that aint fun,
But hell, I'm an enterprising Yank,
I'll go into the bank with my hand in my pocket,
Yelling 'Here's a bag, With money you can stock it!'
If they don't obey me, d'ya know what I'll do
Shoot 'em with my loaded
FINGER!

It was going like a dream,
The cashier began to scream,
And the customers were lying on the floor,
And the manager was trembling ,
As the cash he was assembling,
An' I thought 'I've made it now for sure!'
Then someone pressed a button and a bell began to clamour,
My pulse began to race and my heart began to hammer,
Pulled my hand from my pocket and what d'ya think they saw,
I'd only got a loaded
FINGER!

Cops came up with their sirens wailing
My whole enterprise was failng,
SWAT squad came with their guns and tasers,
I turned around and ran like blazes

But this great big copper,
Brought me down a cropper,
And another one sat upon my head,
Hauled me off down town,
Where they sat me down,
And they soon had me wishing I was dead,
The DA said 'I'm charging you with robbery one,
That's five to ten in the hoosegow, son,
For aggravated hold-up without a gun,
And possession of a loaded,
FINGER!!

Flash Company(aka Brian Quinn)

The tune is an instrumental piece called 'Yackety Sax' which was used as the end titles play out music on UK television for 'The Benny Hill Show', which I believe has a following in the US.
It was recorded with some lyrics by Mark Knopfler and Chet Atkins as 'Yackety Axe'
FC