I have only ever minded bodhran players once, when I had one on either side, a spoons player behind, and another bodhran player to the left of the bodhran player on my left. Two of the bodhran players were quite good. One was not, and played during slow airs,and insisted on beating reels in three, saying she was double timing. But I think the main offense here has nothing to do with the instrument, it's more to do with not listening, and not thinking about how you function within a session.   I like playing music reasonably well with other people, playing at a pace that works with the particular session and making sure I can hear other folks to make sure I'm respecting tempo, tune changes, and if I am doing harmony, chord progressions. If, as a fiddler, I drown out my neighbors, I will miss a lot of important information. Same is true for pretty much anyone in that circle.