Well, it's certainly true, and problematic, that confusion and unnecessary tension can crop up when two members of the opposite genders explore the possibility of a musical collaboration, while the two of them have different ideas about the possibilities for further, more personal, developments in said relationship.

However, please don't think that the female party to such an encounter is always innocent while the male is automatically wrong. You may well have had such an experience, been entirely in the right, and been hurt. However, sometimes it happens the other way 'round. Without going into embaarrassing detail, and without naming any names, let me just say that I've been there.

I get the impression that your "grasp of sexual politics" is that men are always wrong, and that whatever a women does is excusable. I hope for your sake that I'm wrong, and that in your better moments you DO actually have a sense of humor.