Here is the speech that he really should give:

I have had a revelation! I now realize that the reason for this fiasco in Iraq has more to do with my trying to prove to my Dad that I'm not just some wastrel, frat boy but a major badass on the world scene than about US security and the war on terrorism. I wanted to be known as a "War President". I have no concern for human life which I proved in my tenure as big honcho in Texas. I hold the gubernatorial record for upholding death sentences.
All these neos around here were itching to go into Iraq for some time and saw 9/11 as a golden opportunity. Truth be damned.
Hell everyone knew it was gonna wind up like this. We had to have an excuse for an occupation and civil strife is a good as it gets. Hell, the reason we didn't have no exit strategy is because we never planned to exit until we sucked all the fossil fuels out of the place and the rest of the middle east for that matter.
Now Dick was all for this cuz he's just plain greedy and you'll note how his outfit Haliburton has even moved over there to be better able to suckle on the oil teat. (I wonder who he had on that list he was sposed to make of potential VP's). Never showed it to me.
As for me I figured I'd be taking good care the friends I made in the oil bidness when I was walking out on failing corporations in Texas with a big sackful of money.
I thought I supported the troops and wondered why they didn't just get their Daddys to get them into the National Guard. Wait a minute...
It's for these reasons and because it's become boring that I resign and am sending Cheney to Guantanmo for ...well you name it. GWB

Sorry Tar, but I can't take anything you say or have said for you seriously.vl