It makes me flippin' sad to think that sume delusatory fliphead who thinks he is ME is way the hell up in flippin' Alaska thinkin' that he is gonna mind gold and then flippin' come to Blind River and just, like, pretend he is ME? Holy flip. What a retread this idiot must be! What a flippin' looser!

It makes me sick to know that idiots like that are, like, out there and are still aloud to run arownd and make a flippin' nyusiance of themself, eh?

Pa-flippin'-THET-ic is what that is, eh?

Well, I am in the big city now, eh? Subury. I been in Sudbury plenty of times and I am, like, almost a seelebritty here becoz I got arrestted here on a few ocncasions. Like the time me and Don stole the school bus and then robbed the likker store, eh?

Anyways, I am campin' out at a liberry here. I am smart, eh? You know why? Becoz what I did was I hid out behind the bookshelfs until all the flippin' staff had left. Now I got the place all to myself. I got a nice couch to sleep on here, lotsa water fountains, and there is food and coffee in the flippin' staff room! HA! HA! HA! I am livin' high here. I will have a nice time and sneak out in the mornin' after they open the place up again. Boy, am I smart. I definately got the brains in the McBride fambly, no flippin' questtion about that, eh?

No one seen me. I got this hole place to myself. Right now I am sittin' behind a BIG flippin' desk and smokin' a cigar. Ha! Ha! I found them in a drawer. YOU ain't apposed to flippin' smoke in here but who is gonna stop me? Who? No-flippin'-buddy! I am home free.

This is cool. I might stay a couple more days. Then it is on to Huntsville and the woman of my dreams.

- Shane McBride, the one and only, the man with the plan!