Why don't y'all get down to Sainsbury's (that's a UK supermarket) and get a free carrier bag that announces 'I'm not a plastic bag/a smug twat/an inveterate abuser of women'.
Take it down to your local f*lk club (if it hasn't collapsed).
Oh my! The hotpanted 'ladies' will be ever so impressed.
Never mind the music, it's gone to a pub we're not telling you about.
Or the bollocks for that matter.
You'll be hearing enough of that at your 'open mic'.
But we're playing and singing and stepdancing all over the tables at the *********.
Collapse of stout party? Jolly good.