But I do know what you mean. What was liberating for me was when I realized that the things that did and did not happen in my life resulted because of choices that I myself made. Whether or not other people and events brought me to each choice, still it was I who made the choice, good or bad. And I made the best choice I could see to make. So there is no one to "blame". One can even say that if your husband dies at an early age or runs off with the local circus lad, in one sense you did cause it, YOU are the one who made the choice to bring him into your life. I love the thought of reincarnation! Thanks for the brain food.