Stardate 535, Terran Planetary Quadrant, North Ontarian sector of North American Continent:

We have nabbed a very choice specimen of Earthling. He has shaggy facial hair and is noticeably unclean. When first siezed by the transporter beam he let forth with an extraordinary series of auditory utterances, indicating his panic and distress. We have succeeded in sedating him with the paralyzer beam. He is sweating profusely. My goodness, what a dreadful odor! Well, one is forced to get closer than one would want to these unpalatable alien beings in one's quest for scientific knowledge.

Meklor is going to do a mind meld with the being and see if we can discover what makes him tick, if I may use an expression.

We have now ascended to a point approximately halfway between Terra and its moon, so that we may proceed in peace and fully examine this primitive lifeform at our leisure.