The Canadian armed forces today succeeded in sinking one of our own ships, the 35 year old destroyer Huron. HMCS Huron ended her proud career under the shells of Canadian warships and strafing by fighter aircraft.

When questioned as to why this had occurred, Admiral Dudley Preston of the Canadian Forces said:

"Well, we have not succeeded in sinking any real ships, specially combat ships, in a very long time, eh? In fact, I can't remember the last time we did. We don't get many opportunities to do that, eh? So...this was kind of wearing down our troops' morale pretty badly, you know, feeling like maybe we just didn't have what it took. So we figured it was time to take the moose by the horns and show that we still have what it takes. It was a hell of a fight. The Huron put up a real battle, but we finally sank the old girl. She's under 2 miles of water now. Beauty, eh?"

It is unclear if this will be regarded as a glorious victory or a splendid defeat, but it is sure to go down in Canadian nautical history and be remembered for many long years.