Eric, a "hoser" is a moronic, dimwitted, chronically unemployed young man who is primarily interested in drinking beer, eating pizza and back bacon and other fast food, avoiding responsibility, and being a completely useless layabout and wastrel.

The word "hoser" is a euphemism for a ruder word: "f*cker"

It was coined by 2 Canadian comedians back in the 70's or 80's sometime. Those comedians are named Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis. Their version of the "hoser" was as I have described above.

Real hosers, however, are also very interested in having casual sex with any female who is willing, and they are very interested in smoking dope and having other drug experiences, and they are ALWAYS heavy tobacco smokers.

Thomas and Moranis avoided some of those areas for some reason. Their version of the "hoser" was a far more innocent version than the real thing by a long shot.

Hosers are total assholes. They are often in trouble with the law. They may break into your house while you are out, and if they do they will probably wreck the place just for spite. Real hosers range from the downright dangerous type to the merely annoying type.

Shane McBride, Mudcat's iconic hoser, is of the merely annoying variety, as he is basically harmless. This also goes for his brother Don. Merely annoying hosers can be quite amusing at times, as long as you don't live with them! This is to say, they are amusing....at a distance. They are not so amusing up close.

Hosers insert the word "like" in many places where it doesn't belong in sentences, because it helps them work their way over momentary mental blank spots they are afflicted with while speaking.

There are female hosers too, but they are not as common as male hosers. Female hosers are sometimes called "skanks", "airheads", that sort of thing.

The once famous "valley girls" were a California brand of female hoser. Think of Brittney Spears or Paris Hilton...without the money or the success, and you've basically got it. People who are referred to (rather unfairly) as "trailer trash" may or may not qualify as a subgenre of hosers all their own. The Canadian show "Trailer Park Boys" has made icons out of such people. If you haven't seen it...go out and rent the CDs NOW!!! You will soon know all you need to know about the lives of total, out and out, beyond hope hosers.

Canada is proud of its hosers, who are among the stupidest people the world has ever known, and we continue to celebrate them to this day.