How about this one:

You see, there was this barrel down in the hold, with the
bung removed.

A young apprentice seaman was talking to an old AB and said,
"what do you do about sex aboard ship? Says the old AB, "Whall,
me, lad, down in the hold thars a barrel with no bung in in't..."

And thus begun the expression "blow the man down."

Did ye know that in fact there where sailing vessels with the
sails UNDER the water, to take advantage of the equatorial
currents?

OK, another lyrical citation (from the song itself, from this
site itself, but as given by Hugill):

Says I, ``Oh, no, sir, you do me great wrong,

(Way, hey, blow the man down)

I'm a Flying Fish sailor, just home from Hong Kong!''

(Give me some time, to blow the man down)

So I blew him right down, and I stove in his jaw;

(Way, hey, blow the man down)

Says he then, ``Young feller, you're breaking the law!''

(Give me some time...)

So six months I did, boys, in Liverpool town,

(Way, hey, blow the man down)

For kicking and punching and blowing him down

(Give me some time...)

Now:

If you still maintain that it had any fooking thing to do
with orders, pipes, speaking tubes or anything other than kicking
the crap out of some other poor sod, then you're a hopelessly
obtuse piece of pseudo-intellectual flotsam and not worth the
time to blow you down.

But do go on and claim that the policeman was in fact aloft
on the balconies of Liverpool and that the sailor in question
blew on his bosun's pipe (carried by all handy AB's on shore
leave) to pipe him down from his lofty architectural perch.

One of the nice things about maritime music is that, in general,
its students admit to 'yarning' when they are doing so and don't
attempt to gain honors by being full of crap.

In all seriousness, I would recommend that you take your theories
to the 'heads' and deposit them in the oaken bucket and thence
overboard where they'll do the most good.

And leave the rest of us who've taken years or decades to learn
this material and to discern its actual origins alone.

Or have another beer and piss yourself in the back of the crowd,
then wake up to sing 'The Old Dunn Cow' and drive the remaining
victims out to the parking lot after the rest of us have retired
to the YTB.

With all due respect.