In Fact:

When I got home in the dead of night
I chanced upon an eerie sight
For there before me in the pilot light
Was my dear old white haired gran
She looked at me with a glint in her eye
Threw back her head and let out a cry
She hitched up her skirt
And began to ride
Amongst the pots and pans

Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
If the neighbours were to see you
They would think you awful strange
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range

Well she sucked upoon her whisky
Like it was going out of style
Things were really heating up
Because she had been there a while
And I was getting anxious
In case she burst her piles
But she was revving up
To do another twenty miles

You're too old to ride the range
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
If go at it much harder
The hob won't take the strain
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range

Well granny kept on riding
Like she was on the pony express
But nuts and bolts were popping
The stove was under stress
The whole lot came crashing down
In one God Almighty mess
She caught her knicker elastic
In her walking frame
Choked herself to death

You're too old to ride the range
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
To have her surgically removed
Was something to arrange
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range

Well granny she was buried
All the mourners stood and cried (boohoo)
And the preacher said
"She's gone to Jesus (hallelujah)
To walk right by his side"
But I know something different
So I couldn't help but smile
'Cause granny's gone a-riding
In that gas showroom in the sky

Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
Now Granny's gone to Heaven
To ride with Jesse James
Was something to arrange
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range