Snail - take my word for it - its a club, I've been there.

Its in the arse end of nowhere - deepest Lincolnshire, protected by speed cameras at every approach - so its a very exclusive club - don't reckon your chances of getting invited!

I met one guy who reckoned his satnav said,..... let me off this one.

By the way - you're not one of the surviving Famous Mollusc Twins - the one that evaded the slug pellets....