This is me, eh? Don. I have been, like, cryin'. I ain't ashamed to admit it. The little brother has been gone fer a whole month! He, like, vanished sometime around May 10th as close as I can figger it, somewheres sought of Sudbury, and he ain't been seen hide ner hare of since. This is not flippin' good!

I finally seen Officer Jennifer Dana yestterday. They are takin' this thing seriously! She won't say much except that there was some "unusual sightings" in that area. She is keepin' mum about whatever they know about it, but I can tell she is takin' it serious, eh? This is real serious.

The little brother may be gone fer good. It is hard to beleeve this. I wake up each mornin' and I'm thinkin' it was just a bad dreeam but he is REALLY gone!

What if they took him for his brain? His brain might be sittin' in a jar right now! Holy flip. Or they might of took him so's they can force him to breed with weird-lookin' hairless alyen females that don't have no hair! That would be a fate worse than flippin' death!

On the other hand, at least he would be gettin' some fer a change...

Well, I am really broke up about it. Who is gonna steal my beer and smokes now? Who is gonna eat up half of my paycheck every month? Who is gonna lissen to Ozzy records and get drunk with me on the weekend? What is gonna happen to the fambly?

I did not get to make my proposishion to Jennifer cos I was too upset about the little brother.

Anyways, I don't think she woulda gone for it. She is one hard woman, that one. She is married to her flippin' job.

Good lookin' though...

Man, I am really flipped up over this. I can't flippin' beleeve them alyens took a McBride. I just can't flippin' beleeve it. What the flip good is it livin' in a sosiety where no one can do flip-all about somethin' like this and the police and the military flipheads are totally flippin' useless? Why did the the aleyens take my little brother? Why!???

- Don McBride