I'm always saddened at the sight, at our local supermarkets, of people who look as poor as church mice (or, as me old mum used to say, "haven't got a ha'penny to scratch their arses with"), bags full of cheap-range cans and packets and sliced loaves of the cheapest white bread, no fresh food at all, but spending sixty quid at the fag counter.

Several smokers have told me how it's outrageous me spending £1,500 on a guitar. I told them it's about the same as, or less than, they spend in a year on coffin-nails.

Priorities!