Thanks to all for the help!

Unfortunately, the file was recorded in 1994 on a Win 3.1 "Multimedia PC," and the then-respectable sampling rate of 11.025 kHz. CannaMP3 and CDex wouldn't even talk to me about it until I bumped it up to 32,000 kHz by saving it at a different sampling rate from the Sound Recorder. This gave it a tinny, metal-robotty sort of distortion that I found quite unpleasant. Media Wizard converted it without a hiccup, but the resultant track was about 1/7 as long as the original, and I sounded like a Chipmunk on amphetamines--couldn't make out a single word it was so fast.

So thanks to y'all, but for now, screw't. I've sent the WAV to Max, and if he can use it, he can use it. If not, I'll get around to recording something else before too long--I have promised my Auntie, who has lymphatic cancer, a tape! At least I've gained a collection of better tools for the future, thanks to Ed and Michael.

Chris