i studied classical music for many years...nobody played in my orchestra without the music on the stand. nobody sang in my choirs without the music in their hands. and what about those conductors, who should have known the music better than the rest of us? they used their music books too.

a few years ago i joined a folk-music song circle. it's a miracle i stayed with the group, because i received frequent hammering about the fact that i was singing with words and playing with chords much of the time. it's a constant theme of tension in our 'informal, supportive, non-judgemental' group.

after so many years of using the music, and memorizing only a small amount of it, i find performing formally or informally without cheat sheets very difficult. i am in awe of those who know a thousand songs and can retrieve them flawlessly at 2 am, but i am not among them, and never will be.

that said, i have taken a GIANT step forward. when i began studying celtic harp a year ago, i asked my teacher (sharlene wallace) to help me play 'by ear', rather than from a book. the results have astounded me. not only can i play and accompany without notes on paper, i have found that the part of my brain which learns songs and plays all of my instruments is loosening up and starting to find a new confidence in knowing words and playing instruments without the paper. it takes me longer than most, but i actually have a 'repertoire' of folk music that i can deliver without the cheat sheets.

what i dislike so much is the judgementalism that comes along with this topic. i have been insulted and centered out for using words for songs in the 'safe' world of the song circle. i have been told that because i have all of this training and a music degree, that i should have no problem with this. i have been told that the music is so much better when the singer/instrumentalist is free of the page. yes, i have had some others jump to my defence. but nonetheless, it takes a lot of guts to sit at the piano or dulcimer or harp or sing a cappella without the notebook, when you've grown up learning music from the paper.

so, let's all do what we need to do. and let's learn new skills. but let's not continually feel that we need to apologize for what we do when we're doing our very best.

long live folk music!

~black walnut