The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #83915   Message #2077505
Posted By: harpmolly
15-Jun-07 - 12:44 AM
Thread Name: The Wiser Maid (please critique!)
Subject: RE: THE WISER MAID (please critique!)
P.S. One more teensy little revision, and I'm very happy. (not to egregiously refresh or anything ;))

Third-to-last verse: Instead of the line that reads,

"O, what say you, my dear?" says he, "shall we to chapel go?"

(which is clunky and difficult to sing)

instead substitute:

"O, come with me my dear," says he, "and to the church we'll go."

Much smoother, with a fun little internal rhyme (with me/says he). Ahhhhhhh. :)

Thanks again for everyone's help and kindness!

Cheers, M