As day light came creeping I went for a pee
and the guy in the mirror was not much like me
his clothing was dishevelled and smelled like twas dead
Guess who's been on the sofa and had not been to bed
had not been to bed, had not been to bed
Guess who's been on the sofa and had not been to bed

My senses are ebbing like the outgoing tide
And men with small hammers are working inside
I'm queasy and hungover and I'm sick to the core
I'll just sip this Alka seltzer till they're open once more
they're open once more, they're open once more
I'll just sip this Alka seltzer till they're open once more

I finally woke on Sunday to the sound of the drum
My wife she was shouting that to church I must come
" Drink is thy enemy" the parson did roar
so I'm off to kill my enemy and take prisoner some more
take prisoner some more, take prisoner some more
so I'm off to kill my enemy and take prisoner some more