To the tune of "Viva La Companie"

Archibald jumped up and down on the porch
He was in agony
He jumped up and down and he clamped on his crotch
He had to go badly
Open the door, open the door
Open the door, I can't stand it no more
Open the door, open the door
I have to take a pee.

Further to a previous post

Hasten Jason
Bring the basin,
Oops, slop, bring the mop,
Alas, alack it's all in vain
The dog has licked it up again.

Bert, you wanted naughty kid's songs, I learned this in Grade 1, almost 50 years ago and have, unfortunately, never forgotten it, so I guess I must have been a naughty kid. The following is to a common tune, but I can't remember the original title

Two farmers, two farmers
Were digging in a ditch
One called the other
You dirty son of a
Murphey boy was sitting on a rock?
Along came a bumble bee
And stung him on the
Cocktail, gingerale
Five cents a glass,
And if you don't believe me,
I'll shove it up your
Ask me no questions,
I'll tell you no lies
And if you ever get hit
With a bucket of s**t
Be sure to close your eyes.

Considering I read this whole thread, I probably still am, a naughty kid.