THE BAR PLAYED "TRAINS IN THE NIGHT"
Tune: The Band Played Waltzing Matilda
Click to Play
Now when I was a young man I followed me nose
And I lived life however I wanted
From the cubes at the office to the dusty saloons,
With my pals I would travel, undaunted.
But when but three-and-twenty, I met my sweet Joan,
And she made me stop rambling, and made us a home.
And gave me a baby and gave me a list
And she generally gave me what-for
And the bar played "Trains in the Night",
As I left all that friendship and beauty;
And I'd bid my mates "Cheers", left them nursing their beers,
And I sailed home to tend to me duty.
And how well I remember when our second was born,
And the doctor had said "It's a daughter"
While Joannie was resting, I stopped at the corner
From some strength from their best fire-water
My mates was all there, and they made me feel swell
They showered me with drinks, and had long tales to tell,
When I finally called in, I was drunker than hell,
And the phone was picked up by her mother
And the bar played "Trains In the Night",
As I hastily made my excuses,
And her mum could hear plainly the 'chuff' of the trains,
And the rattle of ancient cabooses.
By the time Tod was ten it had happened again,
More than once, as I slowly went bonkers
And I'd leave Joan at home, taken in by the phone
Drinking late, while she tended the younkers.
Then one night in wee hours, she began to complain
And threatened with lawyers and child-support pain,
Even though she could hear I was stuck on the train.
Still, I never believed she would leave me
And the bar played "Trains in The Night",
And my story kept gradually growing,
To stay safe in my bar, and to follow my star,
And to keep me poor Missus from knowing..
I am destitute now, as l I sit on the stoop,
And wait for a visit from Todd
And my life's at a halt, all the barkeeper's fault,
For my story was perfect, b'God,
When I phoned to explain 'bout the slow-running train,
The stupid old bugger lost track of his brains
And the phone booth was filled with betraying refrains,
And she swore she would leave me by morning
For the bar played "Stuck At the Market",
Though my story 'bout "Trains " was all right,
Gone the kids, gone the saviings, and I drink til I'm raving,
And I tell meself lies, late at night.