The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #20188   Message #209149
Posted By: Amos
09-Apr-00 - 01:56 AM
Thread Name: Songwriting -- Part 2
Subject: RE: Songwriting -- Part 2

A beautiful and powerfully written song!! I would only offer one change for consideration, viz, the phrase "Our Lady of the Underground". Because of the strong British identification of the expression "the" underground with the subway system, it jars the imagery to use the same words here. Another facet is that the use of the phrase "Our Lady" me anyway..brings up images of Catholic churches, which seems at odds with the more Gaiean imagery of the rest of the song. I would recommend reworking that single phrase, and it will be perfect, for my $.02 worth.

Best regards,