A program I really enjoy on TV is "Little People, Big World." It covers a family, half of whose members are dwarves. The hubby has a lucrative business selling an accessibility kit to hotels/motels for making their rooms accessible to little people. In one episode they show us the commercial they're filming to promote their handy and very affordable kit. Their angle is the insurance liability of little people having to climb on slippery bathtubs in order to reach those pretty hotel-towel displays.... the potentially-expensive, risky contortions people are already doing while out on business travel, just to use the rooms provided. Next we see, in the program, one hotel CEO view the commercial..... I almost peed my pants as he saw these "actors" simply showing the reality of visiting the hotel without such a kit.
Their businesslike approach to accessibility was really inspiring-- reminding me that to leverage change, there are always many, MANY avenues. So-- I'm thinking of inviting a few local celebs to spend a day in a wheelchair as my guest, for a little tour of the area. With photog and reporter along of course. Then I'll simply send the DVD of all the "fun" to the managers of the facilities we visit, with a non-confrontational card enclosed offering a few affordable ideas to help them avoid future embarrassment and lost business.
Somehow I don't think they'd like a card "Handicapped Not Wanted" pasted on their doors next to the MasterCard logo.
Because as you say, it's not meanness as much as not-thinkingness.