I have to disagree with Amos about the 'Our Lady of the Underground' line. I think it's very appropos to the theme of your song, and could be interpreted several different ways -- which only adds to the quality of your lyrics. I do agree with Ebbie that it is a beautiful and evocative song. Well done.
I would also add here that suggested changes to your lyrics should always be considered just that -- suggestions -- and that the final analysis of your song comes down to you. I don't know how many times I've seen people ask for 'comments' about something they've created, only to be totally confused by conflicting commentary. Take everything that anyone says about your creation with not a grain, but a block of salt. If you are satisfied that your song reflects your thoughts and feelings, then that's really all you need to know.
I'm usually more likely to ask advice about chording and resolution -- I tend to be pretty much 'married to' the words of a song when I finally get the lyrics the way I want them. But then, I usually begin a song with a tune in mind, instead of the words first. So, I end up shaping the sound of the words around the sound of the notes. To each his own, however.
Lovely song you have there, (and here's my block of salt) I don't think you ought to change a word. Now take that and let's go make some margaritas. *BG*