The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #20239   Message #209575
Posted By: Hyperabid
10-Apr-00 - 10:03 AM
Thread Name: Thought for the Day - April 10
Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
I'm not sure I've got the hang of these threads yet... But I think I've got a personal observation that may be relevant.

When you have argued with someone close to you, sometimes it is hard to restart the communication. Particularly if one or other party is in a "sulk". Whatever you try and say is answered tersely, non-comitally or sometimes just dismissed out of hand because the other party doesn't want to stop being angry with you / see reason / move on etc.

In line with thought for the day I will offer up a useful thing I have learned only recently, but has proved such a boon for lightening the load and getting problems out of the way.

I share with some of my friends the common habit of reading to each other for entertainment rather than getting stuck into the telly or whatever. (I am not several hundred years old - we just find it relaxing).

Recently a disagreement about who sleeps on which side of the bed - (you know earth shattering - life changing stuff) - led to the worst kind of sulk. The kind where you partner is - "not angry" - "just tired" - "let's just go to sleep" - you know the sort where a six foot wall of ice and thorns can build but they can still shout loud enough through it to tell you "nothing's wrong".

I'd already tried reason - humour - pleading - logic - behavioural examination - my own sulk (twice) - cups of tea - you get the picture...

So I went downstairs - smoked a cigarette - selected a good novel - returned upstairs and began...

"Chapter 1..."

Half way through chapter two we were sipping tea and thinking about what kind of day trip we might like to do that day. Half way through chapter 3 the issues were out in the open...

Even a one-sided conversation can sometimes open a door.